this day was fabulously funny and spirited at first. but then again, not really.
my best friend, we'll call her Penelope, dumped her live-in boyfriend via email- then sealed the deal via text messaging.
she came home, and he really left.
so, it started out as humorous. humorous in ways that can only be described or translated by the giddiness one gets when they do something that was heroic, brave. strong. a fanatical feeling of relief and amusement in what you've done.
what a wonderful feeling it is to know that one finally stood up for yourself! you finally got out of the relationship where your boyfriend, husband, friend was sucking you dry. whether it was financially, emotionally, physically or all of the above- isn't it a great feeling when you are finally pushed to the edge? you can't take it anymore. you are so angry that you are mad (and i don't mean angry, i mean crazy). so you do it. you break it off. and it feels amazing- you stuck it to them. you deserve better and you're going to get it. much like the feeling you got when you finally told your boss to fuck off. OR, well, you just quit and you never ever have to do that stuff again.*
why is it then, that five minutes later you immediate feel buyers remorse? why is it that as soon as you finally take the plunge, pull the plug, just do it- that you want to take it back? if the other party involved doesn't care, you immediately freak? this happens to almost everyone i know. often. and i only have one piece of advice:
if i know one thing, and i can promise you this- i do know at least one thing, it is that the feeling does fade. you eventually forget the heartache. the sharp pain of loss eventually dulls. but like a knife, it can easily still cut if pushed at the right angle.
lesson to be learned: don't play with knifes. no matter how dull the edge.
*please note that you will have to deal with another set of crap items at your next job and/or relationship.
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