Social Media Etiquette

VIOLA- my first column was posted on IndyHub.org! Here is a nice copy for you click challenged peeps:

Normally I would have a question and answer session in this column, but today, today, will be a rant and general tips session. Mostly because I don't have a question to answer, but also because this crazy lady shocked me today and I wondered why someone would think that the action was considered ok.

Social media, good stuff, right? I’m talking great stuff. I keep in touch with everyone on earth that I want to (and don't want to). I’ve met some pretty awesome men to date and women to bond with via networks like myspace, facebook, match.com and tweeting on the twitter. Until recently I even worked for a company who focuses on leveraging social media for businesses. All and all, we view these tools as a good thing. Connecting is good!

Well, sometimes.

So, this woman sends me a note on Facebook re: your dad.

"Hi Jill,
I am sure that you probably don't remember me, but I used to see your dad about 23 to 24 years ago. You were just little. It was when he lived in his aunts house on the east side of town. You have grown up! Anyway, just wanted to check to see how your dad is.

Take care,
Brenda"

Let's go back 23-24 yrs in Jill's world. I was six, my parents were married. Nice, right?

My reply, re: your dad:

"Hi Brenda,

Well ... I certainly hope you weren't seeing my dad 23-24 yrs ago because that would have meant you were seeing my dad while he was married to my mother.

My father is doing well, I'll let him know you touched base.

Best,
Jill"

her: "Well, actually they were going through their divorce at the time. It was in late 1986 and early 1987."

OH! well, that makes it ok! Why would someone think that is cool? I mean seriously.

This isn't a forum for me to discuss poor little Jill, child of divorce... maybe later :). I post this only to ponder the thought of social media etiquette. Just because it’s so easy to touch base, to be heard, to communicate - where does one draw the line between sharing and, uh... over-communicating?

So, with the help of some friends, we put together our own list of social media etiquette tips and pointers, dos and don'ts, if you will:

1. Don’t write your ex-boyfriend's daughter that you knew when she was six and you were dating her married father. (That's mine.)
2. Don't send a message intended for one person to the whole stream - most of us don't really need to hear the response.
3. Share great stuff! If it’s awesome- share it. If it’s a teddy bear hug gift for VIP friends and you haven't talked to the person you are sending it to since high school, rethink it, k?
4. Don’t say anything/post anything/link to anything you wouldn't want your mom to see or your boss. They will find it - and this is what happens when they do.
5. Don’t lurk. You know you are out there. Lurkers sit on the edge of networks and watch (or stalk). If you're going to be part of the community, participate! All your watching is giving us the eebie geebies.
6. Don’t start group, a blog, a cause, forum, etc. etc. if you don't plan to keep it up. You're wasting energy and clogging brains.
7. PLEASE don't post "awesome to see you last night, you were WASTED!" on someone's wall.
8. Just because you enjoy playing games on facebook doesn't mean your entire list of friends does. Think before you click.
9. If all you do is plug yourself or your company, be prepared to be de-friended.
10. Don't post incredibly personal and depressing status updates… these are ones I've read:

“My son just died in childbirth.”
“My grandpa is in a coma and has two weeks to live”
“I just found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me”

While we sympathize with these folks, the social networking sphere is not the medium to share this type of information, right?

Where does the line get drawn? I know you've got a rule for the list, add it in the comments!


Oh hi! Jill Thixton here, of IndyHub's fabulous question and answer forum, 'You don't know Jack.' Jack is my dog. You'll meet later. What makes me an accredited advice columnist? Not much. I'm not a doctor. I'm not even a writer. I have a degree in apparel merchandising and marketing. Yes, fashion merchandising Ala Elle Woods. I've ventured down several career paths and I'm only 29. My family and friends are a lil' nuts and have exposed me to way more interesting life situations than one would imagine possible in Indianapolis. So, it gives me loads to analyze. So why on earth would you want to hear what i have to say? I have no idea, but I'm going to hop on the soap box and roll with it.