What's the Worst That Could Happen?

On the first day of the New Year, I was excited to attend the closing night of the Broadway hit, Wicked. I had a brand new super cute holiday markdown dress on, a hot date, French-manicured Broadway nails pressed on tight and a new weave in tow! We were headed out for a fabulous evening of dinner and theatre – to be said out loud with a British accent, should you be reading this to your mum.

Besides the whole issue with no restaurants being open because it was a holiday causing our dinner to end up consisting of two hot pretzels and bottomless sodas for $15, we were still having a fabulous time. Who cares that I spilled mustard on the theatre’s carpet in front of my date and who cares that the guy behind us made the most interesting grunting sounds after every scene and may or may not have been passing gas every five minutes. That’s actually pretty typical if you ask me.

Prior to the show, I waited for the ladies room in what may have been longer than the Vortex line at Kings Island the day after senior prom in 1996. Unlike that line, we moved quickly. In and out – very impressive for a bunch of women in pantyhose. We neared the entry to the bathroom and the woman in front of me exclaimed as she peered through the door…

“OH NO, I AM NOT GETTING INTO THAT MESS!!”

She then stormed off and I’m positive 20 minutes into the show was regretting her decision. She had already done so much work! The finish line was right there! What on earth could have stopped her? I kept waiting and within moments had completed the task at hand. Full of relief, fresh clean hands and a show to be watched, I headed back to my seat and enjoyed one of the best BW shows I have ever seen.

Two days later I can’t stop thinking about that lady. Why did she give up? What had happened to her in previous bathroom lines that caused her so much grief?

My guess is that eventually she became quite miserable and had to wait in that treacherous line again. Only this time she was more uncomfortable, more agitated, and more impatient because her pain was much greater.

With the start of a new year everyone is thinking about resolutions – weight loss, quitting drinking and smoking, trying new things, get out of debt, etc. etc. I myself, will get back to the gym, work on selling awesome vintage clothes on Etsy.com and try not to be afraid.

Try not to be afraid? Yes, try not to be afraid, not give up due to fear, and embrace the unknown and more importantly, the known. Because this time – it might be different.

You see I believe fear is created only by what you’ve already been through. My guess is that bathroom lady had experienced long lines before and her fear stopped her from trying again. She knew that she would just have to wait more and it wasn’t worth it to her to endure such pain. I wish, that I had stopped her and said -

“Lady, what’s the worst that could happen if you keep waiting?”

She probably would have thought about it and her answer would be something like I might miss the show or my head might explode with negativity. If she had taken a moment to think about her decision and how it would affect her later she may have avoided an uncomfortable situation. Bad example? I don’t know, I’m not an expert. I just talk a lot.

Anyhow, my point is this. This year as you list out your goals and what you want to accomplish – don’t let the grumpy ol’ lady voice from the bathroom tarnish your vision. When you begin to doubt yourself or when others don’t support your goals, ask yourself ‘what is the worst that could happen if I keep trying?’ Then continually ask ‘what else?’. Chances are you’ll be surprised by how little there is to be afraid of. You’ve likely experienced these things before – failure, obstacles, setbacks, heartache, embarrassment, etc. And guess what, you’re reading this so I’m guessing you’re still kicking and you got through it with much more knowledge under your belt – let’s call it your emotional ass-kicking tool-belt which also contains memories of what success and accomplishments look and feel like.

That’s by far the cheesiest thing I’ve said all day. You can eat that cheese with some low-fat Triscuits.

SO… what’s your resolution for 2011 and how do you plan to stay motivated, silence the naysayers and accomplish great things?

Ain't No Cure for the Wintertime Blues

According to my mother, this bit of a wintertime blues I’m going through isn’t just reserved for princesses like myself. We are well into the third week of the New Year and I don’t exactly feel rejuvenated nor do I feel resolved.

I feel cold!

I feel hungry!

And just when I think I’m going to do something about my blues… I lose all motivation, stay in with Jack and watch idol. (Pants on the ground! Hilarious!)

I feel like some random pessimistic tiny person with oversized hands has set up camp in my noggin. This irritating little head invader is just straight up getting on my nerves. She’s bouncing around pulling at nerves and poking at brain mush and quite frankly, ticking me off.

It would just be nice if I could kick her out for a bit so I could go back to normal and feel excited about my days again! Instead, I’m dragging myself out of bed, going to work, going to the gym, eating and going to bed.

And now, hit repeat.

So as I was saying, my mom said this doesn’t just affect princesses like myself. Of course I wanted to argue this with her so I looked into it and apparently I’m not the only one! That crappy little head invader is all over the place and is spreading a little something called SAD or Seasonal Affective Disorder. Or just call it what it is – Winter Depression. The typical symptoms include:

•    Difficulty waking up in the morning
•    Tendency to oversleep as well as to overeat, and especially a craving for carbohydrates, which leads to weight gain
•    Lack of energy
•    Difficulty concentrating on completing tasks
•    Withdrawal from friends, family, and social activities

And get this, just another reason guys have it soo easy – 70-80% of those with SAD are women! We get periods, we have babies, we get paid less AND we get SAD.

As this is an advice column, I suppose some advice on treatment would be nice… Well, I’m no doctor but I do have the Internet. Here goes… if you are experiencing a bit of the blues the Internet suggests:

Light therapy (like, with light-bulbs), ionized-air administration, medication, cognitive-behavioral therapy and carefully timed supplementation of the hormone melatonin.

That’s what the educated people say, but I think that sounds like too much work and a bit too serious. I suggest the following:

•    Go to the tanning bed – just once though! And cover your face – you don’t want to get wrinkles!
•    Chips, salsa and margaritas at La Hacienda! Pretend you’re in Mexico and it’s warm outside too.
•    Tis the season for jewelry parties – apparently this is big for January and a great way to reconnect with your lady friends and shop!
•    Home projects! Everything on earth is on clearance right now… it’s a great time to redecorate a room or even just clean your room.
•    Put in some good workouts. This will increase your endorphins and make you happy. Plus afterwards you should sit in the steam and remember what it’s like to be hot.
•    Find a good cuddle buddy. There’s nothing wrong with a little winter rendezvous.
•    And finally, celebrate my birthday! You don’t even have to come to the party. I just suggest having celebrations all of next week in honor of it.

That’s all I have to suggest! What do YOU do get through the wintertime blues?

ISO Roommate

Four months into my 30s, I received a phone call from my step-dad. Apparently, we have a family friend I’ve never known about.

And apparently, said friend comes from a really nice family and just needs a furnished room for the summer. Said friend is interning in Indianapolis and said friend is a really nice guy and comes from a really nice family. Yeah, I said it twice.

I’ve lived alone for years and have got to say, it has some amazing benefits. If someone killed all of your Pepto Bismol and suddenly you’re dying of indigestion from a days worth of cookouts and brew and the whole bottle is empty; the only finger you can point is at yourself. Damn it Jill! You drank all the pink magic potion. The trash didn’t get taken out? Ooops, my bad. I hope I don’t get mad at me for slacking.

Does anyone else think that Pepto Bismol tastes really good?

There are other true pleasures of single dwelling. A Saturday morning with your self to drink coffee, read US Weekly and watch infomercials without judgment or interruption is delightful. Wandering naked throughout the house without fear of a wobbly bits sighting is also quite nice. No one frowns upon you when your dog poops on the floor. Sometimes Jack can’t wait to go! I don’t want to explain my poor pet parenting to anyone.

Especially to said friend.

I am quite nice when I want to be and so when asked if said friend could stay here I of course obliged and was very happy to help with his move in and making him comfortable. I even emptied my second bedroom, which is actually used as my closet for said friend! Said friend doesn’t have a car so I drove him around quite a bit; to the grocery, to Bloomington, to the airport, to karate or whatever it is he does. I offered smoothies. I offered fans. I offered to be a friend.

Said friend offered to not lift a finger or leave the house all summer and complain at every opportunity of the chump change he’s paying to live in downtown Indianapolis in a furnished condo five seconds from Mass Ave.

As we all know, I like to rant and I could go into all the dirty details…

But I won’t because the purpose of You Don’t Know Jack is to provide my fellow young professional peers with important information and advice so you don’t make the same stupid mistakes I do every day.

If you decide to have a roommate or move in with a friend or significant other here are some good pointers to keep in mind before taking the plunge. I borrowed all these pointers from the internet – sometimes those internet people have a way with words that I don’t.HTTP://WWW.WIKIHOW.COM/BE-A-GOOD-ROOMMATE.

Find a good roommate. It can be tempting to select a roommate on the basis of how friendly they are, but you’re better off judging them on the basis of day to day living compatibility. Compare their daily habits to yours.

Be upfront about your expectations. Set boundaries and stick with them. This applies to food, clothes, possessions, loud activities, use of common areas, parties, quiet hours, cleaning responsibilities, and so on.

Respect each other’s privacy and personal space. This is especially important if you share a small living area. Make a clear delineation between your stuff and your roommate’s stuff. That way you are only responsible for your things. You must always ask before “borrowing” anything, no matter if it’s trivial. Definitely take good care of any borrowed items.

Clean up after yourself. This doesn’t mean that you have to be a neat freak, but don’t leave your dirty dishes in the sink for days on end, dump your things in the living room, or leave mountains of laundry all over the bedroom, especially if you share it with your roommate. Try to agree on a minimum standard of cleanliness that you’ll all abide by.

Be courteous of your roommate’s sleeping habits. If you are a night owl, keep your noise down and turn the lights down after your roommate goes to bed so you don’t disturb them. If you go to bed early, don’t get exasperated with your roommate for their late hours, but at the same time try to find ways that you can sleep undisturbed. The same thing applies for rising in the morning.

Spend time with your roommate. Say hello and goodbye, ask them how their day was, and show interest in his or her life. Getting to know the person you live with helps you understand their perspective, and allows them to understand yours. It also makes it easier to deal with problems that you have with that person if you’ve already established a rapport with them. Try to set a time in which you both can hang out at least once a week. Make dinner together, watch a movie, etc. Do something nice for your roommate every so often–make their bed, bake them cookies, or offer to give them a ride somewhere if they don’t have a car.

Communicate. As in any relationship, living with someone requires a great deal of work. Communication is key in making the relationship work well long-term, or even for a short time. If a problem comes up, it’s better to talk about it right away than to try and ignore it and let it get worse. If you simply cannot communicate openly and there is tension all the time. Find a new roommate. The stress is just not worth it. You may be better friends if you choose to live separate.

Share. Or decide what you will share. Decide what contents in the fridge are ok and which are off limits. Determine whether or not a common phone line will be sufficient if one person spends a lot of time on the phone. If you borrow something, let your roommate know and (if necessary) try to replace it.

Divide responsibilities. If your roommate is a good cook and you are not, have him cook and you do the dishes. It may also be a good idea to set up a chores schedule, where you will take turns alternating cleaning the bathroom, taking out the trash, etc.

I’ll be sure to review this list prior to opening my doors to anymore said family friends in the future.