What's the Worst That Could Happen?

On the first day of the New Year, I was excited to attend the closing night of the Broadway hit, Wicked. I had a brand new super cute holiday markdown dress on, a hot date, French-manicured Broadway nails pressed on tight and a new weave in tow! We were headed out for a fabulous evening of dinner and theatre – to be said out loud with a British accent, should you be reading this to your mum.

Besides the whole issue with no restaurants being open because it was a holiday causing our dinner to end up consisting of two hot pretzels and bottomless sodas for $15, we were still having a fabulous time. Who cares that I spilled mustard on the theatre’s carpet in front of my date and who cares that the guy behind us made the most interesting grunting sounds after every scene and may or may not have been passing gas every five minutes. That’s actually pretty typical if you ask me.

Prior to the show, I waited for the ladies room in what may have been longer than the Vortex line at Kings Island the day after senior prom in 1996. Unlike that line, we moved quickly. In and out – very impressive for a bunch of women in pantyhose. We neared the entry to the bathroom and the woman in front of me exclaimed as she peered through the door…

“OH NO, I AM NOT GETTING INTO THAT MESS!!”

She then stormed off and I’m positive 20 minutes into the show was regretting her decision. She had already done so much work! The finish line was right there! What on earth could have stopped her? I kept waiting and within moments had completed the task at hand. Full of relief, fresh clean hands and a show to be watched, I headed back to my seat and enjoyed one of the best BW shows I have ever seen.

Two days later I can’t stop thinking about that lady. Why did she give up? What had happened to her in previous bathroom lines that caused her so much grief?

My guess is that eventually she became quite miserable and had to wait in that treacherous line again. Only this time she was more uncomfortable, more agitated, and more impatient because her pain was much greater.

With the start of a new year everyone is thinking about resolutions – weight loss, quitting drinking and smoking, trying new things, get out of debt, etc. etc. I myself, will get back to the gym, work on selling awesome vintage clothes on Etsy.com and try not to be afraid.

Try not to be afraid? Yes, try not to be afraid, not give up due to fear, and embrace the unknown and more importantly, the known. Because this time – it might be different.

You see I believe fear is created only by what you’ve already been through. My guess is that bathroom lady had experienced long lines before and her fear stopped her from trying again. She knew that she would just have to wait more and it wasn’t worth it to her to endure such pain. I wish, that I had stopped her and said -

“Lady, what’s the worst that could happen if you keep waiting?”

She probably would have thought about it and her answer would be something like I might miss the show or my head might explode with negativity. If she had taken a moment to think about her decision and how it would affect her later she may have avoided an uncomfortable situation. Bad example? I don’t know, I’m not an expert. I just talk a lot.

Anyhow, my point is this. This year as you list out your goals and what you want to accomplish – don’t let the grumpy ol’ lady voice from the bathroom tarnish your vision. When you begin to doubt yourself or when others don’t support your goals, ask yourself ‘what is the worst that could happen if I keep trying?’ Then continually ask ‘what else?’. Chances are you’ll be surprised by how little there is to be afraid of. You’ve likely experienced these things before – failure, obstacles, setbacks, heartache, embarrassment, etc. And guess what, you’re reading this so I’m guessing you’re still kicking and you got through it with much more knowledge under your belt – let’s call it your emotional ass-kicking tool-belt which also contains memories of what success and accomplishments look and feel like.

That’s by far the cheesiest thing I’ve said all day. You can eat that cheese with some low-fat Triscuits.

SO… what’s your resolution for 2011 and how do you plan to stay motivated, silence the naysayers and accomplish great things?

A Question. Or a Statement.

I awoke this morning in a lovely hotel room at 4am. I had a throbbing headache and was dying of thirst. So thirsty that I made the ultimate in rash decisions and opened the six-dollar bottle of water on my dresser and chugged the whole thing. At the time, six dollars didn’t seem like much to pay to save my life.

Why so thirsty you ask? Why the headache you wonder? Why the urge to spend six dollars on a bottle of water dear Jill?

It seems that I have developed a bit of a hobby over the years that causes me to have what I believe to be near death experiences — or at least, for that moment in time, I feel like death.

I don’t intend to inflict pain upon myself, nor would I like to die or even feel like it. So what kind of person would choose a hobby that continually causes the same results?

The kind, my friend, who enjoys a good drink (or four) at a time.

I really do like to drink. I really enjoy the taste of wine, beers and most clear alcohols. I don’t mind if I’m doing it alone or with company and I rather enjoy how a frosty mug of beer lightens everyone’s mood.

I like when people’s thoughts become a little loose and flow right out of the mouth without the hesitation. I love listening to comments of those who have turned off the filter of sobriety. Sadly, I believe most things and/or people become more interesting or better looking after one or two or six cocktails.

I mean, who cares if the occasional alcohol drenched evening causes your friends to knock over your neighbors flower-pots because they thought it was your house. Big deal if you ate a burrito from a place you wouldn’t step two inches into sober. I love sleeping in my makeup, dress and heels. I can just pop out of bed and take on the day already dressed and ready to go! And of course I enjoyed grinding with K-feds long lost twin brother at the Mindshaft. He is going to be famous. He said so.

You know, I feel like these things happen all the time.

My hobby is not something that I plan on giving up. Why would you quit something you liked? It’s hard to find a good, easily accessible hobby these days. People are very BUSY. I mean, I have a dog AND a job. When on earth would I find time to do something meaningful with my life?

With all of this said, I am positive that everyone at some point asks themselves if there appears to be a problem. I myself asked this very important question after downing the most expensive bottle of water on earth.

There are so many sources out there for recognizing the signs of alcoholism. This seemed like a very high level and uh, vague view of what those experts might say.  If you want a really good ‘real’ list of alcoholism signs check out this link: http://www.indyaa.org/general/twelve_questions.htm

5 Signs of Alcoholism

Neglect of duties: An alcoholic will continue to neglect other duties or activities.  Things that used to be important to the person will now take a back seat to their opportunity to drink. Like say, in college when you got so wasted the night before Thanksgiving that you didn’t show up until Friday.

Lying: Whether an alcoholic will admit it or not, they will know their drinking is causing problems, and often an alcoholic will begin lying to cover up their drinking.  “No officer I only had two beers. Two delicious Colt 45s”

Lawbreaking: Usually, someone who drinks a lot will start to do dumb things, including getting in trouble with the law. Drinking and driving is not even funny. I refuse to make a joke. You know what IS funny though? Drunken chick fights. That’s what.

Depression: Because alcohol is a depressant, and because an alcoholic feels bad for the hurt they are causing their family, depression is often a problem with alcoholism. OR this is how you feel when you drink too much beer and your favorite skinny jeans no longer fit.

Tolerance: An alcoholic builds up tolerance to alcohol over time, making it necessary for them to drink more and more before getting drunk.  This is totally a wallet drainer. Why would anyone EVER want a high tolerance?

In all seriousness, our social scene is quite conducive to drinking and I think it is OK to have one or two and have a good time. My old boss used to say – 80% of all questions are actually statements. If you’re asking yourself “Do I have a problem?” – you’re very smart and I’m sure you can figure it out on your own – Is it a question or is it a statement?

What happened that made you ask yourself this very question? It’s always nice to know that others have the same struggles- nobody wants to feel alone. AND I’m totally convinced that all the hot guys are hanging at AA these days. Maybe it’s worth a visit? http://www.indyaa.org/.

ISO Roommate

Four months into my 30s, I received a phone call from my step-dad. Apparently, we have a family friend I’ve never known about.

And apparently, said friend comes from a really nice family and just needs a furnished room for the summer. Said friend is interning in Indianapolis and said friend is a really nice guy and comes from a really nice family. Yeah, I said it twice.

I’ve lived alone for years and have got to say, it has some amazing benefits. If someone killed all of your Pepto Bismol and suddenly you’re dying of indigestion from a days worth of cookouts and brew and the whole bottle is empty; the only finger you can point is at yourself. Damn it Jill! You drank all the pink magic potion. The trash didn’t get taken out? Ooops, my bad. I hope I don’t get mad at me for slacking.

Does anyone else think that Pepto Bismol tastes really good?

There are other true pleasures of single dwelling. A Saturday morning with your self to drink coffee, read US Weekly and watch infomercials without judgment or interruption is delightful. Wandering naked throughout the house without fear of a wobbly bits sighting is also quite nice. No one frowns upon you when your dog poops on the floor. Sometimes Jack can’t wait to go! I don’t want to explain my poor pet parenting to anyone.

Especially to said friend.

I am quite nice when I want to be and so when asked if said friend could stay here I of course obliged and was very happy to help with his move in and making him comfortable. I even emptied my second bedroom, which is actually used as my closet for said friend! Said friend doesn’t have a car so I drove him around quite a bit; to the grocery, to Bloomington, to the airport, to karate or whatever it is he does. I offered smoothies. I offered fans. I offered to be a friend.

Said friend offered to not lift a finger or leave the house all summer and complain at every opportunity of the chump change he’s paying to live in downtown Indianapolis in a furnished condo five seconds from Mass Ave.

As we all know, I like to rant and I could go into all the dirty details…

But I won’t because the purpose of You Don’t Know Jack is to provide my fellow young professional peers with important information and advice so you don’t make the same stupid mistakes I do every day.

If you decide to have a roommate or move in with a friend or significant other here are some good pointers to keep in mind before taking the plunge. I borrowed all these pointers from the internet – sometimes those internet people have a way with words that I don’t.HTTP://WWW.WIKIHOW.COM/BE-A-GOOD-ROOMMATE.

Find a good roommate. It can be tempting to select a roommate on the basis of how friendly they are, but you’re better off judging them on the basis of day to day living compatibility. Compare their daily habits to yours.

Be upfront about your expectations. Set boundaries and stick with them. This applies to food, clothes, possessions, loud activities, use of common areas, parties, quiet hours, cleaning responsibilities, and so on.

Respect each other’s privacy and personal space. This is especially important if you share a small living area. Make a clear delineation between your stuff and your roommate’s stuff. That way you are only responsible for your things. You must always ask before “borrowing” anything, no matter if it’s trivial. Definitely take good care of any borrowed items.

Clean up after yourself. This doesn’t mean that you have to be a neat freak, but don’t leave your dirty dishes in the sink for days on end, dump your things in the living room, or leave mountains of laundry all over the bedroom, especially if you share it with your roommate. Try to agree on a minimum standard of cleanliness that you’ll all abide by.

Be courteous of your roommate’s sleeping habits. If you are a night owl, keep your noise down and turn the lights down after your roommate goes to bed so you don’t disturb them. If you go to bed early, don’t get exasperated with your roommate for their late hours, but at the same time try to find ways that you can sleep undisturbed. The same thing applies for rising in the morning.

Spend time with your roommate. Say hello and goodbye, ask them how their day was, and show interest in his or her life. Getting to know the person you live with helps you understand their perspective, and allows them to understand yours. It also makes it easier to deal with problems that you have with that person if you’ve already established a rapport with them. Try to set a time in which you both can hang out at least once a week. Make dinner together, watch a movie, etc. Do something nice for your roommate every so often–make their bed, bake them cookies, or offer to give them a ride somewhere if they don’t have a car.

Communicate. As in any relationship, living with someone requires a great deal of work. Communication is key in making the relationship work well long-term, or even for a short time. If a problem comes up, it’s better to talk about it right away than to try and ignore it and let it get worse. If you simply cannot communicate openly and there is tension all the time. Find a new roommate. The stress is just not worth it. You may be better friends if you choose to live separate.

Share. Or decide what you will share. Decide what contents in the fridge are ok and which are off limits. Determine whether or not a common phone line will be sufficient if one person spends a lot of time on the phone. If you borrow something, let your roommate know and (if necessary) try to replace it.

Divide responsibilities. If your roommate is a good cook and you are not, have him cook and you do the dishes. It may also be a good idea to set up a chores schedule, where you will take turns alternating cleaning the bathroom, taking out the trash, etc.

I’ll be sure to review this list prior to opening my doors to anymore said family friends in the future.

I Dumped Myself on Valentine's Day

The guy next to me is reading playboy on US Airways flight 3032 from Washington DC to Indianapolis. The driver of a pretty nice shiny black town
car doused himself in what I imagine Sex Panther smells like prior to driving
me to the airport. I dumped myself on Valentine’s Day.

I’m not quite sure what irony really means, so I’ll look it up. Synonyms:

•    Satire
•    Paradox
•    Sarcasm
•    Mockery
•    Insincerity

Interesting, I had no idea what irony really meant until just now. I think I thought it meant something more like a coincidence.

Well then, I guess it’s not ironic that the guy is reading playboy on an airplane or that the driver smelled like 10 gallons of Brut. Who reads Playboy on an airplane?

And I guess it’s not ironic that I had to dump myself on Valentine’s Day either.

I’m recently the owner of a broken heart. It’s not like, mega-broken, it’s more like someone flicked it really hard with a rubber band. So it only hurt for a second. The nagging ache is now in my head full of questions.

I met a lad who from the instant I met him told me how amazing I was. Beautiful, smart, incredible, amazing. He wanted to see me immediately after leaving my side. He suggested my tickets to come and see him be one way. He wanted to wake up next me. Liked it when I called in the morning while he was still sleeping so he could hear my voice. Wanted me to walk right next to him because we were ‘together’. Loved my bluntness. Nothing I shared about me or my past or my future scared him. The only thing he was scared of was the emotions he had for me. He sent me flowers. He sent me pictures. He gave me gifts. He took me on trips. He texted all day, emailed and called. Couldn’t wait to see me again. Miss ya!

Yada, yada, barf.

What’s a girl to do? Of course she would think she finally met someone who loves her ‘exactly the way she is.’ (Thanks a lot Bridget). I fell right on in, heart first, of course.

Then just as quickly as this new beautiful world unveiled itself to me, it disappeared. No more sweet texts, no more calls to say good night, no more talks of our tropical vacation, no more need to stand by me.

So of course one asks, what happened? What gives? What did I do? Apparently nothing. I’m amazing. (duh).

I’m a gal who never just dives in. I’m cautious. I don’t open up easily. I’ve had my heart flicked several times before. There is no way that that I did this. There is no way that I pushed for something that the other party clearly didn’t want. It’s just not my bag. If someone isn’t showing enough interest, my advice is to RUN.

I’m not meaning to sound like a woman scorned. I’m not. I’m rather entertained and in awe of the ways that people choose to end things. Men and women, we all go about it in our own way. Sadly, most people just don’t know how to break up these days.

I’ve decided that I’m probably not the only one who has had to endure some lame breakup. So, I’ve asked friends to share their stories of crushed love in hopes that the next time you want to break it off with someone, you follow the top ten ways NOT to do it. Here are some surefire ways shared by our peers to end things the wrong way:

1.    “I’m not feeling it”, which was needless to say since the girl I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with was going to Cancun with her new boyfriend two weeks after we broke up so…
2.    My boyfriend dumped me before an already paid trip to Hawaii.
3.    When I found two cruise tickets at his house with another girls name on the ticket… no words were needed.
4.    Over email. He lived in Chicago and I lived in Nashville. I was supposed to fly to Chicago that weekend for Memorial Day and he emailed me to tell me that I shouldn’t waste my money.
5.    After 3 months of dating, he asked me to be exclusive. The next month, he said, “I’ve changed my mind, but I’d still like to see you.”
6.    I saw my boyfriend take a girl to the back seat of his car and watched him “make love” to her. I have him to thank because I am happy where I am at today and wouldn’t be here if that didn’t happen.
7.    The ‘silent treatment technique’. No returned calls, no explanation. That’s like a no call, no show. Definite grounds for firing.
8.    Freshman year of college my girlfriend broke up with me via email right before a class. For 45 minutes I had to watch my Sociology of Religion professor do a Wicken knife ceremony while planning what I would say to her after class.
9.    An ex-girlfriend was hooking up with one of my best friends and was presumed to stripping at a club.
10.    The guy appeared to adore me, and then just stopped calling. I’m like what’s up? He’s like, “I’m not ready.” I’m like ok, “so you’re just not going to call?” Apparently, he didn’t want to lose me because he thought some day he would be ready. I love that he thought he’d just not call until then. So he wasn’t going to dump me. I had to do it for him… on Valentine’s Day.

So, the lesson for all of you who are looking from advice from Jack and me is that there is no good time to break up with someone, but there is a good way. Just be honest. You might get called names or have to deal with a crying, angry, crazy person for a short period of time, but I do believe they’ll appreciate your honesty in the long run.

Plus you won’t get articles written about how stupid you are posted on the Internet for all the world to see.

Please do tell, how would you have preferred NOT to be dumped? Commiserate. It’s cool. We’ve all been there.

No Strings Attached

I feel like societal pariah.

Yes, I paid my taxes. No, I’m not a dead-beat dad, nor am I a terrorist. I’m not a pedophile, geez I hardly even like kids, let alone touch them. I would never kill a person. In fact I almost cried when we hit a squirrel on I-70 on the way to the Indy 500. Actually, I think I’m quite the upstanding citizen if I may say so myself. I work, pay my bills and clean up Jack’s poo in public places. I even do nice things for people like, uh, call them back and listen to problems and give advice.  Geez. I’d even recycle if I could around to it.

But recently, a giant stamp has been showing up on my forehead. You can’t see it without a black light. But shove me under and there it is…  SINGLE. Someone stamped my head over night and didn’t tell me they were going to do it. It just showed up one day.

Today, I pop by my mom’s house for lunch. My whale of an uncle (not fat, just a very large man) is floating on a tiny pink raft in the pool. We get to chatting and after he tells me how much money he makes, offers me beef barley soup and a loan for ten dollars, he says… “are you married?”

“Yes, uncle Jeff. I got married and you didn’t know anything about it.”

“God, I can’t believe you’re not married! How old are you?”

“Dude, I’m 29, shut up.”

“Do you have a boyfriend.”

“No.”

“Why?! That’s so weird.”

My eyes roll, mentally, not physically (because I’m not twelve) and I go eat my beef barley soup which he promises is low in carbs.

Big Jeff Stud is not the only one asking me these types of questions as of late, or mentioning little things such as my biological clock, settling down or meeting the ‘one’. “Perhaps you should be less picky. You’re totally afraid of commitment and MUST be totally sexually frustrated. OR you’re gay! Maybe you should try eHarmony! It’s so much more classy than match.com.”

So here’s the deal, out of nowhere I’m 29 and my gal pals are dwindling… planning big weddings, shower hopping and getting ready to start their new lives. Suddenly, the calls to go shopping, have after work cocktails, do concerts or have pool dates have diminished at an alarming rate!  Now everything is done in couples and you’re rarely invited anymore – but not to worry, every so often, a friend will have  they want you to meet. Well, that is, if they can set up a triple date of couples so it’s not so “awkward”.

Right.

Thing is, I’m really excited for people when they meet someone special and get married! I can understand the place they are in life and think it’s great. And I’d like to think that is true for most people, well, except that one friend who can’t be happy for other people-that would just be too hard. Oh, you know you’ve got one, don’t lie. If you don’t- you are that friend.

Then why is it that just because their place in life has suddenly changed, they think that I am less happy being where I am? And why am I suddenly not part of the club? I’m almost positive this is not in my head- well, my mom says it is, but what does she know. She’s married.

Finally, single gals hit a great point during their late 20s/early 30s – just living life, doing well at work, with clarity around who they are and able to explore the world… and something is wrong with them? Something is amiss?

The only thing missing as of late for me is the connection between me to my favorite girlfriends. Those, dear judgers and societal shunners, are the strings that are no longer attached.

Ten fun myths of being – SINGLE… what others have you heard?

#1: If someone is single past a certain age, there must be something wrong with them like they have halitosis and hammer-time

#2: Single people are irresponsible and hate babies

#3: Single people don’t have family obligations and would prefer to be at Rock Lobster at Christmas

#4: Single people are unhappy being single and go home at night and pray for marriage to a shrine of celebrity couple photos

#5: Single people want you to set them up with your second cousin who has three kids with three different women

#6: At a certain age, a single person is too old to get married and should just live with their cats and call it a day

#7: Single people are uncomfortable hanging out with married people and probably will try to steal your husband or wife

#8: Single people eat take out all the time and rent movies and watch them in their underwear with bras on their heads

#9: Single people party all the time and drive drunk through your yard

#10: You’re not an adult until you are married because then you are definitely mature

a false sense of security

To lull someone into a false sense of security:

to make someone feel safe when they are not. Wearing suntan lotion can lull people into a false sense of security and make them spend longer in the sun than they should.

See also: false, lull, sense

It's happening. a lot. In Iraq... Online... At Work.

You knew it was coming- In Relationships.

An interesting individual brought this up to me... in regards to life's twists and turns and surprises. I had said to this person that the need to be constantly moving, taking risks, in the middle of it all etc. has dwindled as i get older. True, he said. But don't fool yourself into thinking that life will not be without unexpected twists. Humans, and I would venture to say, specifically Americans, are often blindsided by the unexpected. Why else would it be called unexpected? (sometimes, I surprise myself by writing the stupidest things).

Alright, this is a chick blog- back to the girl stuff. My out of the blue breakup knocked the wind out of me. This would be one of the first times I didn't see it coming. I mean, I was a wreck for at least 3 days. ha.

Now, I'll look back - you know, a whole month or so ago, and I have to wonder why I was so upset? Well number one- no one likes rejection. It's the worse. Number two, no one likes to be surprised. But ok- number three is the big one. And what I didn't think about until this nice gentlemen said it was, omg, a false sense of security. Just because I felt like everything was great and my own concerns were always put to rest by reassurance from this guy, had I not allowed myself to feel "secure" in the first place, I may not have been so upset.

Ok, well that just blows. So where does that leave a gal? I get to spend the rest of my life with whoever and know that nothing is ever secure? I mean good god, I don't think they have enough xanax in the world to help out everyone if that's the case. And as I sit here pondering that, I completely realize that it's something that no one has a choice in. I have no choice if I want some lovin' in my life. So I'll deal.

I suppose the fun of it is, it will always be a surprise. Good. Bad. or Unexpected.

the dress affect

i was thinking about this yesterday. yesterday morning while i was in the shower. i planned my outfit. i would wear my high-waisted citizens of humanity jeans and a super cute floral silk blouse from french connection with a tie around the waist and black leather pumps. SO CUTE.

i find that this happens. and i wonder if it happens to other women. you get into a relationship and soon you find that your tastes are "calmed." suddenly, you're not into the experimentation you were before. basics- you start to wear basics. you clothes are less loud, they draw less attention. boring-er.

perhaps there are two reasons for this. one, most men are thrown off by women with funky, fun, individual style... so you "simmer down" in order to suit their needs. (that sucks). OR you require less attention- attention that was once derived through compliments from friends, co-workers, etc. is not as important because you have guy. (also lame).

lame, but both valid thoughts. with the end of my relationship, has come the end (again) of my toned down style. suddenly, there is freedom to play again- suddenly i'm excited to experiment. and i have been and it feels great.

one night, i had to go out with the boy and his friends... all very "successful" in terms of education and career. i thought i had nothing to wear to this fancy dinner at an expensive restaurant. i bought a black shirt from banana republic. i wore it. i felt plain. yet adult-like.

i've never worn it since.

i imagine, as this post comes to and end... you're thinking, what is wrong with this girl? i say this all out loud (or write, i suppose), because it sort of stinks. it sort of stinks that an outgoing, rock solid chick like myself would let others influence her dress- but i know i'm not alone.

you know why? because i KNOW i'm not the only person who feels like a straight up fool when i have to dress up for work. i still feel 12! i put a suit on and it looks like an 8 yr old wearing her mom's clothes.

i think as the times change and employers are forced to change their ways in order to keep the attention and employment of mine and younger generations, that dress will more or less be defined by who you are. not what you do. now- let me work on the transfer this to all areas of my life.

that's it. thanks.

hope

now i think we'll move onto my thoughts on the love.

i don't have any right now. however, i do have thoughts on guys. recently, i joined the match.com. why, you ask? well, prior to my "recently" i was in a pretty good relationship...great, in fact, seemed to be going well. we got on great, there were sparks, then notta. i don't know where it went- but it left. and out of the blue, i was single, again.

so... i get the match.com. and i have to admit. it's kind of fun. i mean, who doesn't want to get hit on all day? regardless of the fact that most of the men who hit on me are closer to my step-dads age than mine, well, it's still nice to know that someone out there is interested. especially when you were just thinking that you must be a troll that should live not under a bridge, but rather in the crack of a shoe that just walked through dog poo on the monon. don't ask.

with this said. GUYS are so nice. i mean, i can't get over how nice these guys are. they don't even know me. they really took 5-8 minutes of their life, read my profile and took time to write ME about me. and they talk about things i said. seriously- you date someone for however long and many a time a fight will stem from the fact that they... don't listen to you or don't understand you or don't ask questions. then, all of the sudden, there's a ton out there, just asking for more. i am not lying. i'm beside myself and i want to write to them all, well not all of them, and just say thank you.

doing exactly what they are doing is enough to give any woman, no matter how down on themselves they are about the "love," the "hope" that there are still a many fish swimming about the sea... ready to ask about you and interested in knowing more.

who says you find someone when you aren't looking? moms. that's who. go on girls, get your match on.