I’ve always kind of been one of those lucky chicks. You know, the ones who could eat anything and never gain weight. I’ve lived off Taco Bell since I was six years old and my mouth waters at the sight, the scent, even the thought of french fries. I love them all and all for different reasons. McDonalds has cracked the code on fulfilling my monthly cravings, so hot and salty. You know, like a good man. Wendy’s taste heavenly when you dip them in a frosty… also, like a good man. Steak n’ shake dipped in “cheese” if that’s what you call it, waffle fries from Chick Filet just speak for themselves – so good you can’t eat them on Sunday because that day should be reserved for the lord, not fries.
So, I was that chick who ate anything and everything and I have weighed the same since highschool. In fact, until about 6 months ago I could still squeeze myself into my favorite vintage Levi’s I bought when I was 14 from BR Vintage and Kurt Cobain ruled the world. Anyhow, I hope you don’t think I’m bragging, believe me I’m not. Just setting the scene people.
And son of a bitch, it happened again! I turned 29 and I get another smack in the face. Not only did I get tagged with a bunch of unfortunate photos of myself on Facebook this year, I got tagged with ten extra pounds.
The good news is there’s more of me to virtually poke. Bah dum bump (that was me attempting a joke, a terribly bad joke).
Today I = 29 yrs young+ 10lbs + job where they stock the kitchen like Little Boy is about to be dropped and many more reasons to grab drinks and be social than – uh do something about it. (Thanks IndyHub). I suddenly have a strong understanding of the ‘wobbly bits’ Bridget Jones mentioned a time or two and I don’t like it one bit.
I recognized this problem like 2 months ago. Which is why on a Saturday morning some time ago when I could have been working out, I instead chose to drink coffee, eat scones and watch infomercials. Good thing I did! Phew! I discovered ‘Melt if off with Mitch!’. Mitch Gaylord, that is. Not that dude from Indy who doesn’t do the government thing anymore but still has bumper stickers all over the place to prove – he’s the man. Lucky.
Mitch Gaylord, who I guess was in the Olympics, sucked me in and now I am the proud owner of a 2-pound medicine ball, a tape measure, a meal list and a DVD. And Mitch promised me I would lose one size in 3 days!
This week it’s on like D.K. Kong. I bought all of the food yesterday. Sadly, it was not cheap. Oh well, love don’t cost a thing, a tight bootie does.
And, drum roll please, today, I completed day one! I ate all my meals and did the exercises in my living room. Meanwhile, Jack decided I tasted like McDonald’s fries and wanted to lick me non-stop on my feet, ankles, forehead blah blah blah while I was trying to shake my medicine ball.
1 day down- 2 to go. I’ll let you know how it goes. How about for our top ten list let’s list common excuses we make to ourselves to not workout… Ok! I’ll go first.
1) I need to let Jack out. And it turns out he didn’t really want to go on a walk, but rather preferred to watch Kendra and had a random craving for pizza. If you saw his cute lil’ face, you would never want to tell him no.
2) I forgot my shoes… again.
3) It’s Wednesday. Don’t you know it’s five-dollar pitcher night at Scotties?
4) It’s Thursday. Don’t you know it’s half price martinis at Scholars?
5) It’s Friday.
6) I think instead of buying dinner, I’ll buy a new pair of shoes. Skipping a meal is certainly dedication to a better body if you ask me.
7) I parked really far out there in the lot today at Target. Does that count as cardio?
8) Ordering off the fresco menu at Taco Bell totally cancels out spinning class.
9) I’ll just have some sex instead. Oh wait… how much does it really take to burn a few calories? Ouch.
10) Bally’s closed their doors last month. And old school, down and dirrrrty is the only way to go if you are truly a hardcore health nut. Anybody know where I can find a Gold’s?
2) I forgot my shoes… again.
3) It’s Wednesday. Don’t you know it’s five-dollar pitcher night at Scotties?
4) It’s Thursday. Don’t you know it’s half price martinis at Scholars?
5) It’s Friday.
6) I think instead of buying dinner, I’ll buy a new pair of shoes. Skipping a meal is certainly dedication to a better body if you ask me.
7) I parked really far out there in the lot today at Target. Does that count as cardio?
8) Ordering off the fresco menu at Taco Bell totally cancels out spinning class.
9) I’ll just have some sex instead. Oh wait… how much does it really take to burn a few calories? Ouch.
10) Bally’s closed their doors last month. And old school, down and dirrrrty is the only way to go if you are truly a hardcore health nut. Anybody know where I can find a Gold’s?
Let’s make a toast to no excuses this week. No toasting with alcohol though, just use one of the 8, 8oz. glasses of water Mitch suggests you drink each day.
