ISO Roommate

Four months into my 30s, I received a phone call from my step-dad. Apparently, we have a family friend I’ve never known about.

And apparently, said friend comes from a really nice family and just needs a furnished room for the summer. Said friend is interning in Indianapolis and said friend is a really nice guy and comes from a really nice family. Yeah, I said it twice.

I’ve lived alone for years and have got to say, it has some amazing benefits. If someone killed all of your Pepto Bismol and suddenly you’re dying of indigestion from a days worth of cookouts and brew and the whole bottle is empty; the only finger you can point is at yourself. Damn it Jill! You drank all the pink magic potion. The trash didn’t get taken out? Ooops, my bad. I hope I don’t get mad at me for slacking.

Does anyone else think that Pepto Bismol tastes really good?

There are other true pleasures of single dwelling. A Saturday morning with your self to drink coffee, read US Weekly and watch infomercials without judgment or interruption is delightful. Wandering naked throughout the house without fear of a wobbly bits sighting is also quite nice. No one frowns upon you when your dog poops on the floor. Sometimes Jack can’t wait to go! I don’t want to explain my poor pet parenting to anyone.

Especially to said friend.

I am quite nice when I want to be and so when asked if said friend could stay here I of course obliged and was very happy to help with his move in and making him comfortable. I even emptied my second bedroom, which is actually used as my closet for said friend! Said friend doesn’t have a car so I drove him around quite a bit; to the grocery, to Bloomington, to the airport, to karate or whatever it is he does. I offered smoothies. I offered fans. I offered to be a friend.

Said friend offered to not lift a finger or leave the house all summer and complain at every opportunity of the chump change he’s paying to live in downtown Indianapolis in a furnished condo five seconds from Mass Ave.

As we all know, I like to rant and I could go into all the dirty details…

But I won’t because the purpose of You Don’t Know Jack is to provide my fellow young professional peers with important information and advice so you don’t make the same stupid mistakes I do every day.

If you decide to have a roommate or move in with a friend or significant other here are some good pointers to keep in mind before taking the plunge. I borrowed all these pointers from the internet – sometimes those internet people have a way with words that I don’t.HTTP://WWW.WIKIHOW.COM/BE-A-GOOD-ROOMMATE.

Find a good roommate. It can be tempting to select a roommate on the basis of how friendly they are, but you’re better off judging them on the basis of day to day living compatibility. Compare their daily habits to yours.

Be upfront about your expectations. Set boundaries and stick with them. This applies to food, clothes, possessions, loud activities, use of common areas, parties, quiet hours, cleaning responsibilities, and so on.

Respect each other’s privacy and personal space. This is especially important if you share a small living area. Make a clear delineation between your stuff and your roommate’s stuff. That way you are only responsible for your things. You must always ask before “borrowing” anything, no matter if it’s trivial. Definitely take good care of any borrowed items.

Clean up after yourself. This doesn’t mean that you have to be a neat freak, but don’t leave your dirty dishes in the sink for days on end, dump your things in the living room, or leave mountains of laundry all over the bedroom, especially if you share it with your roommate. Try to agree on a minimum standard of cleanliness that you’ll all abide by.

Be courteous of your roommate’s sleeping habits. If you are a night owl, keep your noise down and turn the lights down after your roommate goes to bed so you don’t disturb them. If you go to bed early, don’t get exasperated with your roommate for their late hours, but at the same time try to find ways that you can sleep undisturbed. The same thing applies for rising in the morning.

Spend time with your roommate. Say hello and goodbye, ask them how their day was, and show interest in his or her life. Getting to know the person you live with helps you understand their perspective, and allows them to understand yours. It also makes it easier to deal with problems that you have with that person if you’ve already established a rapport with them. Try to set a time in which you both can hang out at least once a week. Make dinner together, watch a movie, etc. Do something nice for your roommate every so often–make their bed, bake them cookies, or offer to give them a ride somewhere if they don’t have a car.

Communicate. As in any relationship, living with someone requires a great deal of work. Communication is key in making the relationship work well long-term, or even for a short time. If a problem comes up, it’s better to talk about it right away than to try and ignore it and let it get worse. If you simply cannot communicate openly and there is tension all the time. Find a new roommate. The stress is just not worth it. You may be better friends if you choose to live separate.

Share. Or decide what you will share. Decide what contents in the fridge are ok and which are off limits. Determine whether or not a common phone line will be sufficient if one person spends a lot of time on the phone. If you borrow something, let your roommate know and (if necessary) try to replace it.

Divide responsibilities. If your roommate is a good cook and you are not, have him cook and you do the dishes. It may also be a good idea to set up a chores schedule, where you will take turns alternating cleaning the bathroom, taking out the trash, etc.

I’ll be sure to review this list prior to opening my doors to anymore said family friends in the future.